I'll be gone for three or four weeks, and I wont be bringing my computer, which practically guarantees I wont have any idea what's going on up here while I'm gone.

Unless some of you decide to give me a call (call? who calls people?), which I wouldn't be entirely averse to.


Sometimes, I ask myself, "Why wasn't he there?"

And I know that isn't the right question




We all do the best we can--or the best of us do.


This summer has been mostly filled with bland, boring bran flakes--but every so often a sugar covered raisin has appeared, floating in the milk.



I both eagerly await and dread my return to college.


Time flies sort of like a chicken. It never gets very far, and at the end of the day, it's still a chicken.


I hope you're all wonderful by the time I get back.

Be excellent to each other. Party on, dudes.

Wild.

My mind has been on the fritz lately

I'm not really sure how I want this summer to go

Sometimes I like to say things and never elaborate

How many friends have I missed?

Freedom smells wonderful

I feel ready for a party time

Oftentimes I imagine that lifeless objects have emotions

my period key doesn't work

the weather's been as fickle as a woman

having fun in the sun

Done with finals

My freshman year of college is over

I'm home for the summer

There is really something unspeakable about the college experience.

Everyone being awake until the wee hours

Philosophizing until well after the sun rises

Walking to central park

Watching the girls ice hockey team, and saying "Don't even worry about it" a record number of times

Playing Diablo with a bunch of the guys, yelling at each other and beating down demons

Going to Tom's at 3AM and getting a milkshake

Adventuring in the forbidden tunnels below Columbia campus for hours on end, eventually working our way down into subterranean sewers in absolute darkness, lit by random flashlights and the glow of cellphones.

Finding random rusted over ladders, emerging into the massive power station below campus.

Randomly meeting up with a group of stangers in an underground passageway

Running away from automatic doors

Reading in someone else's room when they aren't there

Stealing power

Lounging and listening to music, nobody talking

Napping in someone else's bed

Going out at midnight

Reading all day, then reading some more



There definitely is something about college

Spring break is just ending and spring will soon begin.

Spring break was sort of odd. I didn't do much. I was sort of sick for most of it. I only hung out a couple times. There weren't really any adventures. There were a couple good points (Ivan Ivonov, Lazar Lazarov.... Sharkov!?), a couple bad points (Sunday night), some boring times (Tuesday).

I like my friends a lot. All of them.

I feel like the events of a single weekend were stretched out across an entire week.

On the other hand,

Pokémon.

And now I'm back in college. Time to get down to work! woo hoo!

One of the great thing about college is that there are almost always people if you want them.

As I sit here writing this, there are two people in my room doing homework for a class that no one in this suite is in, including myself. They've been here for half an hour already.

I do really like college, but many times I feel like I should still be in high school.

I feel like all the seniors are my age, and all the college freshmen are a year ahead of me.

I've been in a funk lately, and that's under the umbrella of the much larger and much longer lasting funk that's been cast on me since around November of senior year.

Sometimes it really appears very clear to me--the only way to change is to go out there and do something about it. Many times it is as simple as making a decision and following through.

Oftentimes, I lose sight of that. I become complacent, or I ignore my problems, or I become lost in a lazy, unmotivated haze.

Make a decision, follow through.

I haven't been creatively productive (or, really, productive at all) in a long time. I might've mentioned it a couple times. I haven't been drawing or doing visual art, and I haven't written a story in just about forever.

The other day I completed a poem for the first time since July, and I suppose it made me feel good about myself... but it didn't get me on a roll. It wasn't like the proverbial dam broke and everything started letting loose.

When I really think about how I have the power to change my life, I feel good. Strong, maybe. But sometimes... it's not enough. Sometimes, maybe, I start to doubt it.

Just random musings, I guess.


I think a great part of my mental weakness recently has to do with the fact that I am actually physically sick. I wasn't sure, but in the last couple hours, I've started feeling under the weather quite a bit. Not so good. I get sick very rarely, so... hopefully I can ward this one off.

I've not been in a good mood.

My mind has been filled with a short playlist of strange thoughts and put on shuffle, but the volume's too loud and I can't fall asleep.

The stomach hasn't stopped churning for a day straight (damn indigestion).

Budassi, Nicole and, uh... that kid I'm related to came to my dorm. We hung around. It was good times.


LB:
Well, I broke the vow, but I had a good time, so screw that. Just means I'll have to wait another month to visit Long Beach again. Would not have gone if not for Tricia anyways, but that made it way more than worth it. Had a silly time at Steph's party thing for a bit, triciatriciatricia.

Sunday, went to Lucas's house, and played starcraft for a couple hours. After we were done with that, we started actually playing starcraft for a couple hours. rifkin and jesse showed up, we got the xbox from rifkins house, and went back to the Smith household. Played ddr for a bit, the booted up the halo box. Played a couple games of CTF, and became engaged in the longest stalemate of turn based ctf ever. Rifkin pussied out (yea, that's right) and took off for home as the hour approached 2.

I took a 349 train back to Columbia. Got in 5:40ish. Have a massive amount of food in my dorm. Goldfish, Milano cookies, blueberry muffins, frosted mini-wheats, cheerios, frosted flakes, sour belts, hershey kiss things that wish they were m&m's, oreos, and... popcorn. Yea.


tricia-->thursday
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!111111pne
p.s. still holding your earrings hostage